Journal 3-2 Max Bardowell 2-3-08

The Morality of Lying


Answer to Last Week’s Question: The actual text of the Golden Rule, as stated in Matthew 7:12 is, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."

In our class discussions this week about the varying levels of friendship and community, we moved one day to the topic of lying, and how the morality of lying can affect a friendship. The first point that spawned the discussion was the idea that some friendships are at a level where it is acceptable, or possibly preferable, to lie to your friends when certain circumstances require it. An example: your friend asks you to come out on a Friday night when you really don’t feel like it. If this was a friendship of the good or even a certain friendship of pleasure, you might feel comfortable enough with that person to honestly tell them how you feel. However, most friendships could be damaged by that lack of involvement, and some friends might be offended by your lack of interest, even if you’re simply tired and you just want to stay at home and watch a movie.

Several ethical theories come into play here, including a priority ranking of your friends, the golden rule, and the greatest good. By ranking your friends, whether consciously or unconsciously and whether through Aristotle’s methodology or otherwise, you put certain values on relationships, and are thus able to distribute your time among them more effectively. You can also, in this situation, whether it is ethical or not (we’ll come to that later), decide which friends you feel you are able to lie to.

The Golden rule initially would tell us that you should lie to no one, as humanities visceral reaction is to be drawn towards the truth. However, when the circumstances of the truth could result in our harm, would we really wish to be told the truth? Now, I’m not saying that your friend stating that he doesn’t want to hang out with you could cause you physical harm, but if you don’t know your friend’s personality intimately, you could be offended by his lack of involvement in your relationship. So, would you want to be lied to?

This relates directly to the greatest good practice. Do the consequences of your friend discovering your lie outweigh the benefits of him not being harmed by your rejection of his offer to hang out? This is really a judgment call. You must judge the solidity of your lie, as well as your friend’s possible reactions to your negative response, and finally any future lies you many have to tell him to maintain your initial lie. All this in the time span between the point he asks you the question and the point when you should have generated an answer.

It’s a tricky business.

I don’t want to say it but I feel that I have to, “Oh what tangled webs we weave/ When first we practice to deceive.” This does ring true in this situation. So remember it. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Question: What is the origin or this quote: “Oh what tangled webs we weave/ When first we practice to deceive.”?